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Wednesday, June 29, 2005


Here is the official Batman Begins review from my main man Cruiser!
BATMAN BEGINS


I saw "Batman Begins" with my brother on Saturday night. It is about the
comic book hero, Batman. I know that comic books are for babies, but I
thought "Batman Begins" was awesome. There are so many fights in this movie
it was unbelievable. When I got out I wanted to punch everything in the
world.

Some of the things I punched include:

1. The air

2. My movie ticket

3. My brother in the arm - he has a mark on his arm and he was mad at me. We
didn't speak at all on the ride home, but that is okay because I had map
quest directions so I knew how to get home anyway. Screw him, you know what
I mean. Don't get mad at me because I am so strong. I told this to his
stupid face.

4. A movie display of "Herbie: Totally Unloaded". I was so upset when I
knocked this display over. This is a movie I want to see hard but now the
movie manager has kicked me out of the theater for a few weeks. They wrote
my name on some list of people banned from the movie theater. I had to
apologize to some old lady who fell down because the display fell on her.
The movie theater can reinstate me, but I need three references from people
I know. It's sort of like the steroid rule in baseball, but only tougher. I
know I can change and I want to thank everyone for their letters and
support. I am changing my behavior starting right now.

4A. For my references I am going to use: Dr. Sulis (my foot doctor), Stan
and Cindy from next door and Sasha one of my ex-coworkers. He is from
Yugoslavia and people love to respect foreigners. I bet he is probably a
powerful diplomat.

Also, you will not believe this: Katie Holmes is in the movie. She is dating
Tom Cruise who is a really old man. Many people are signing up for the
"Free Katie Holmes" movement. I don't know if petitions will help but I sent
one around before the movie started and got almost 250 signatures. If you
know where I can send this petition to please let me know.

Also, another thing about this movie is it is probably a good date movie. I
saw about five couples making out next to me. Some of them were really going
at it.

So there it is, "Batman Begins", a new movie in theaters about a lot of bats and fighting.
 Posted by Hello

3 Comments:

Anonymous Tim Delucci said...

This sucks. This guy just ruined the ending for me.

3:33 PM

 
Anonymous Tim Sweeney said...

This guy should review movies for the New York Times.

10:38 AM

 
Anonymous Bonnie Welch said...

What the f*ck is with this review? This is stupid. I seen this movie and this review is garbage. It doesn't even talk about the movie. You guys are stupid.

9:12 PM

 

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